deliciously swanky

Spiritualists for hire

2012-02-02T17:17:00.001Z

Metro newspaper classified and the names are many. Mr. Abou, Cheikh Wadud, Mr. Soreba, Sheihk Tamim. All international spiritual healers and love experts, all can advise you on business matters and remove evil malevolent spirits. None profess a religion, almost leading you to believe its kinda generic spiritualism. But when you think about it deep it might all be generic. Who is to Mr. Taribe is any better? Better spiritual tools? However the clues are in their names. So could be islamic, some indian guru or some gypsy variant.

Could be all Nigerian though? Feel me? ;-) no trying to cast doubt on the noble ..

You do wonder, who uses these services? they must have a lot of patronage cos there are more adverts than the last time i looked.

Just saying still ..

Interpret

2012-02-02T14:49:00.004Z

Hahaha came across these two pictures and the illustrations do speak for themselves........

Bacon Roses gives a new meaning to eating your feelings. I would expect if your girlfriend is a vegetarian these rose buds would signal the end of that courtship. She wants romance not a PIG oink oink :)

Don't you just love blurring out music so you can really feel the lyrics. Hmmm this picture on the other hand says sometimes you don't need all that volume to enjoy a motion picture. In fact less is more don't you agree LOL.

ODB.............its Suave

2012-02-02T13:18:00.005Z

If you're ready to roll, roll with me....am feeling a lot better after hearing this tune :)

Damnnnnn at 1:23 seconds into music just DIRTY.....he comes with fuck the pussy till its orange like Ernie and Bert oh mymymy....geeeeze LOL

Word....Clan

2012-02-02T13:02:00.003Z

Forget me not eternally the flame burns...............

"wake the fuck up or get woke the fuck up" aint that right..

Mash up is popPPIN

2012-02-02T12:32:00.003Z

Original tune is dope but...Damn am feeling these mash up Joints roughhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Am like fuck critics you can kiss my hole ass hole, if you don't like my lyrics you can press fast forward.............Jay Z is d man!!!!

Cinematic

2012-02-02T11:08:00.000Z

you know we Hip Hop heads, suckers for street poetry and creative music production. For the last couple of years I've been checking hardcore for productions by Hip Hop producer Just Blaze. Very stylish stuff and a penchant for creating that cinematic sound the works well with dopest of spitters like Jay Z.

Compiled a youtube playlist in tribute to Just Blaze .. enjoy

If Only You Knew-Patti Labelle

2012-02-02T09:41:00.000Z

Ooooh sexxxxyyy voice

Chris Rock - Owing Money.....LMAO

2012-02-01T21:49:00.000Z

YENKO NKOAA ---Lets Go

2012-02-01T20:41:00.000Z

Love this traditional dance illustration.......so me ha, na so me ha (hold me here and hold me there)

Chale you be Fake London Boy!!!

2012-02-01T20:19:00.002Z

I like this tune cos it's true all these Boys are just FAKE too many of them!!!!!!

Obo ni whini na oka sa (speaks through the nose saying ""init init init""")

Embaaaa (women and women) in the front to the back he don't know where to go!!!

Kakra kakra (small small).....

2012-02-01T16:02:00.021Z

I would like an orange (Meh pay ankaa) cause am in need of some serious vitamin C overdose this blooming cold, am not gonna let it take a hold of me!!!!!!!. Am feeling a little defragmented today so am gonna write this post with short bursts (kara kara) of paragraphs composed of my thoughts throughout the day.

I was reading a short native poem one of my cousins sent me and just figured out that the Igbo man does not do oranges and blueberries very well at all, the combination is all wrong. As for the Ghanaian man give him some palm and he produces Apeteche (Palm Wine) he has his uses, if dude can pound you fufu made from yam then I say you found yourself a keeper.

Over the years it's ironic but the probability of meeting a Nigerian man has been 90% more viable than meeting a Ghanaian, at least that's what I have noticed especially as time pushes on. Is it coincidental, is it meant to be that way or are Nigerian men statistically more available and widespread that they literally break the circumference of a circle each and every time. You go to a Ghanaian party and the proportion of 9ja men out weigh those of my Ghana mans them. You go to a christening and they outweigh my Ghana mans dem. You go to Thamesmead and you feel like you walked into Lagos as it has been described...........9ja baba sabi go do us oooooooooo. Kofi, Yaw and (na) Kwame where are you (mo wo hi oooooo) brothers hiding its a real problem(eyye asem papa) lol.

Seems that once you discover a man's fallibility that's when you can set the foundation for a realistic relationship. Indeed rightly so, every couple needs an awakening to set the platform for a meaningful union. The default position most women sit in, is often entrenched and hinges on placing godlike expectations on men (why the hell is that necessary)....hoping that they make up for whats missing inside of them....unfortunately truth is it just doesn't work. Newsflash, they all come with disappointment as an extra to complement our meal, one such meal that should be consumed slowly, go too fast and you might need lots of gaviscon to appease the bloated feeling, the feeling we all experience for being glutenous.

Whats going on with public culture, gone are the days marriage used to be an obsession, these days the percentage leaving out weighs those wanting to enter into that kind of institution, yet marriage still stands as the primary and ultimate goal for the majority who get into relationships. What am increasingly finding ubsurd is that, its regarded a misfortune for a woman not to marry, but the thing is eventually someone will put a ring on that finger even if you have 15CHILDREN (ref to a programme I watched last night called 15 and counting mad documentary, why would you want number 16 really???).

Sometimes our drive to shape the future really depends on how we handle the present, but can we see that NOOOO. Instead as human beings we ( barge on like blind bulls continuously running into brick walls) process the future as a step of procedures hoping to yield a particular outcome. In doing so we think by washing the dishes we can move to the laundry.....then onto reading with the children why? to enhance their verbal skills....and so on and so forth. Only thing is everyone maneuvers through life via a process which methodically executes their order as though arranging musical notes. Unfortunately not everyone has the talent to play the piano, so perhaps it might be more prudent to invest in another musical instrument that's more likely to enhance YOU!!

Trusting some one close to you can cause all types of issues sometimes for real.......as of 17:00 hundred hours today am free of the uncertainty, finally got THE text am happy but my mind still wonders!!!

Sometimes you come across a man that is just tooooo fine, Simbarashe is back on my mind and that finely manicure beard just sends shivers down my spine. Goodness me how can a man be so DAMNNNNNN good looking and not stop traffic; clear my throat I live in hope :)).

Tomorrow is another day!!!

T.H.E. (The Hardest Ever)

2012-02-01T10:27:00.000Z

My thesis for month of Feb GO HARD in the Gym.......

Mariah Carey - Touch My Body

2012-02-01T10:23:00.000Z

Lucky nerd day :)

Homely girl girl /Beautiful Woman

2012-02-01T10:20:00.000Z

Still Spooked

2012-01-31T12:42:00.000Z

October last year I wrote a post on Broken Promises and someone left the weirdest comment ever. Up till today when I read the comment it sounds familiar as though the person responding knows me very well, shocked the hell out of my system astounded me for days. This particular line below was the familiarity that spooked me out!!!

""Hang in there, you are not alone okay! My prayers are with you to keep a strong arm around you in times of uncertainty"". I wonder is that really true????

the matrix

2012-01-31T09:27:00.001Z

had a really vivid dream last night. in my dream I was dreaming of this our current reality, thinking how far fetched it can be. had to pinch myself and grab my nuts when i woke up. but what if this isnt real life? what if this is me blogging in a dream? does my dream persona, like my consciousness in my dreams, feel the same way?

I've been pensive the last couple of days trying to retrace my life steps, trying to forcefully balance karma. never quite understood karma. trying to link events, make sense of things, play out scenarios in the event of extreme level events. always shitty when you have to wait for confirmation of things previously committed to. my mind tells me its ok, but my spirit takes the piss. every time a phone call or an sms text comes through .. i just .. freeze. I'm hopeless though I try hard and keep a positive demeanour. the least one can do without going bonkers on one's self.

Did a good deed yesterday, helped an old gent carry his cases up the station stairs. he was just standing there wheezing as i walked by, me happily whatsappin' without a care in the world. I wasn't looking directly at him but something in my subconscious registered his presence. turned round and offered help which he initially refused, but I insisted and carried the cases upstairs.

spent some time yesterday compiling youtube playlists. these are videos of songs featured on mixtapes I enjoyed and played to death last year .. enjoy

Tribute to TJ-KiD's 80's Street Soul Mixtape

Tribute to DJ Fineboy's Igbo 101 and 102 series Mixtapes

Tribute to DJ Manixx Green October Vol 8 Mixtape: Kwenu!

Tribute to DJ Abrantee - The Afrobeats Mixtape Vol. 1 (2011)

1

ps: Hip Hop ladies and gents, its that time! J-Dilla changed my life, Sunday 5th Feb 2012 @Scala in London. best Hip Hop love-in in London city, in good memory of one of Hip Hop's finest producers. miss it and be square! Check out and download DJ Getz's free mixtape to celebrate the occasion

Retail Therapy

2012-01-30T20:23:00.003Z

Its Monday again woke up not very enthused, but a nice cuppa and a few WhatsApp pings put me in a good mood for the rest of the day. completed a few niggling tasks and finally got my retail therapy fix up this is the beginning of a very gooooood week am feeling elated!!!

My 2 Favourite Quote for Today......

"The truth is, whatever you can't talk about is already out of control in your life"

'People often build their identity around their defects for fear of change"

Yesi Yesii (Hear say)-My tuneeeeeeeeeeeee

2012-01-30T16:24:00.000Z

SARKODiE FT. EL - DANGEROUS [HD]

2012-01-30T16:23:00.000Z

Sarkodieeeee is baddd

Wope Saa (Ft. Appietus)

2012-01-30T16:13:00.000Z

an e.on of bare aggro!

2012-01-30T11:23:00.001Z

electric key pre-payment meters are gonna be the death of us!! goddamn monday morning wakin up to a letter from the baliffs threatening to drag your ras claat to court and seize your kids and the dog? very very not funny. had to get on the phone and rage at the bastards

should have read other peoples woes long ago .. these lot are nasty

from when i moved into the new home in the summer and found the damn thing had been installed i knew there'd be issues. seriously, why pre-payment? if someone owes you money for chrissakes make a cleaner arrangement for repayments, not install some shitty debt collecting devil of a device that a new tenant of the property will inherit, and who would have to go through the rigmarole to explain to mr. utility that the meter and the bloody debt its collecting has nothing to do with them!!!

capitalist pigs!!! who else would come up with pre-payment meters than fucking vampires?! the debt watchdog has recently pulled them up on their thieving prepayment tariffs

see i like to give utility people the benefit of the doubt but e.on electric take the chocolate biscuit. i have been disputing a £133.16 final bill after my switch to npower. e.on had been incredibly lousy at providing any customer service when i asked for the damn meter to be removed. got tired and switched to npower. then i get the final bill, and how i owe them this and that, and how their records show they haven't received any payment since september. so what? i've been like siphoning electricity from the lamp post outside? The cheeky customer service guy even insinuated theft, how some people use engineer keys to override the systme! what?! he quickly retracted that statement when i demanded all this in writing.

This morning's rant and rage call to them forced a re-check. i just a call back full of apologies on how they had not updated the records fully on my property and the previous tenants debt had been wrongly debited to my account. So you quick to call bailiffs on me but you cant double check your own accounts? They trying to wind me up or something? Should sue them!

... And now Npower are telling me how I have to pay them £120 to switch back to a normal meter. like seriously what?!? I never asked for the damned cursed thing ... kiss my fucking teeth!

Next time you come my way :))))

2012-01-29T23:34:00.001Z

Ohhhh fun timesssss....I saw the sun, the moon...oh boi!!

opportunity

2012-01-29T16:18:00.005Z

Fun House!!

2012-01-29T15:56:00.002Z

diaspora boogie

2012-01-29T12:30:00.000Z

"If you see me now I will dance like a butterfly, dance like a butterfly, dance like a butterfly"

So the refrain goes on Ghana artist Zigi's hit tune "U say we tin?". Infectious party tune and I was remarking to a friend how things have changed since our time as teenagers in terms of the African pop scene. In my younger days all we access to was American r'n'b and hip hop imports on the radio, in the clubs, and in the record shops. Nowadays young pop artists from across Africa are very well recognised and listened too by kids and adults in the black diaspora, be them British or French African and Caribbean, and beyond. The international reggae and ragga scene now has a rival which has enriched the appreciation of the black experience. You only have to browse the satellite channels to watch great videos on HiTV and Voxafrica. My friend's daughter, who is Jamaican in background, knows all the big tunes and dances from artists like D'Banj, Flavour Nabania, Castro, Kaysha, Ice prince and others, and goes to the raves regularly held at the Indigo 02. Actually I first heard of D'Banj from her playing a CD in her dad's car. Behind the times or what? lol!

haha! little madam goes in on D'banj's Oliver Twist!

D'Banj himself is so recognised that he can afford not to release a video to his hit song "Oliver Twist" but spin it by asking his fans to post up videos of them dancing to the song. The responses have gone viral with Black, white, and even Asian kids responding. These days I find myself watching videos on Youtube and downloading mixtapes and mp3s of artists, who only a few years ago I would have had no idea about. More grease to their elbows!

Looking at things from a different perspective!!!

2012-01-29T00:04:00.004Z

A friend had this posted on their profile I clicked for the humour only to find other interesting narrations lol..

Interesting craftsmanship.......didn't think you could wear a jacket any other way but whole!!!

Well Forget innovative and creative ideas in the bedroom, if you want your man to show you a good time give them a lap top and forget those guidance books...:)

OK am gonna try Isimhbiwfefmtalol....wtf takes the fun out of LOL....:)

Hmmmmm I raised an eye brow at this particular picture for what it represents am surprised it became a hype in the black community as a trend go figure........uhuh!!

Sexual Health Lottery.....some numbers are fucked up!!

2012-01-28T22:13:00.015Z

Friday was an eventful day I was pleased for my friend who has finally taken her engagement ring OFF and accepted her man was no good for her, has lied many a LIE and the trust is completely broken they can't carry on considering their 10 year relationship. I am glad she has become one with herself and can move on with her life SANITY needs preservation here.....Some things are just fucked up. Hearing this good bit of news lead me to more discussions with the ladies about relationships again, oh my head was bloody pounding by the end of all the ruckus.

Last year I wrote a blog about Sexual Health Lottery (http://swankanddirect.blogspot.com/2011/10/sexual-health-lotterywhat-are-your.html) and how we all take certain risks without thinking or negating the probable outcomes. The outcomes being possible consequences of sleeping with the enemy....the one who passes you an unwanted gift called an STD. Fuckers, they call it a Standard Deviation I call it a fucking death wish one you didn't choose once upon a star.

I shall irritate again, sexual disease knows not of a difference between XX (female) or XY (male) Chromosomes so whether it's a permanent partner or not make the right choices and get tested before sleeping with each other. Your other option is to keep them thermal socks on precautionary measure for YOURSELF....don't want some retard of a man or woman giving you a nonrefundable gift.

Chrome's post on Public Service Announcement became another talking point on Friday amongst the women....no men as they scarperred. So the question pertaining from the conversation was, fine HIV test 60 seconds bam you are officially declared healthy or potentially on the way to becoming a permanent soup of DRUGS morning, noon and night. What a shit prescription and the RSVP states you are cordially struck off the health list and will be grouped in the at risk but have a chance of a normal life till informed otherwise.

It's incredibly nerve racking am sure to be sat in the doctor's office waiting for a positive or negative result. What the ladies found even more unnerving were the other disease that have such a longevity in incubation by the time they decide to invite and introduce themselves it's simply toooo late. Unfortunately you're stuck with the damn inconvenience and your DNA is officially fluorescent probe labelled green you simply deal with what is SHITEEEEE and more Shiteeee.

One such inconvenience that most people don't take note of is infections caused by viruses. I have some girlfriends who are absolutely adamant that they don't need to go for a smear test cause they haven't had that many partners, I have friends who in all their 30something years of being on earth have only had one smear test. Now is that taking a calculated risk or just shear stupidity or perhaps some fear surrounding the whole test procedure. Why bother take a smear???...it could save your life.

Some basic facts of why we need a smear test. If you didn't know of the viruses I mention, then let me introduce you to one you hope never to be acquainted with, human papillomavirus (HPV) a sexually transmitted infection (although a different strain is classed in the same family as those cancer causibg strains). One such sexually transmitted infection that can manifest in the body for several years undetected, although thought to be eradicated by a woman's immune system, therefore preventing any serious harm. Wonderful news, but then there is the 1% of women who unfortunately draw the short straw and before they know the virus changes their healthy normal cells in the cervix into cancerous cells. Obviously environmental factors and recreational habits can be the deciding factor for how aggressive the cancer becomes and sometimes it's just a case of Jane has stronger immunity compared to Justine who is genetically more susceptible.

So the conversation on Friday went from a perfectly ordered debate and turned manic when the topic of would you prefer a partner infected with HPV informs you know up front????...or would you rather not know till the issue came up??.....equally the question was posed to the ladies that would they divulge the information knowing it would be morally wrong to hide this from their new partner????. What to do decisions, decisions.....did we come to some middle ground on this topic well all I can say is, it was AO hell to the NOOOOO come home time. Too many people were in the in-between camps we just couldn't reach a proper answer on this moral high ground we sit on as women. Debate has been postponed pending further investigation...

What was quite apparent by the end of the conversation is that we always think the men are the ones that bring home the STD's or STI's (Sexually Transmitted Diseases or Sexually Transmitted Infections).....or do they??. A coin has two sides you know so don't get it twisted!!!!

Taking Chances......

2012-01-28T21:23:00.003Z

Ohhhhh mymymymy.................what a tune!!!

Damnnn sexy voiceeee.....

Chilled Leo January chills.......cold turkey style

2012-01-28T20:48:00.005Z

Going Cold Turkey is proper fucked up...........it's an Ass hole to detoxing your body and getting rid of those unhealthy toxins!!!!. Oh well here goes the juicer again, mulling over more fruits and veg whether sweet or sour am gonna drink the shite!!!!!

Apparently one of the tools the subconscious mind uses to connect you with what you are looking for is your intuition. My intuition tells me that 99% of the time when we have a gut wrenching feeling about something niggling at us, most of the time if it quacks like a duck then it must be a duck.

January 2012 has been a month of great revelations in more ways than one some brought laughter, tears and some have sent CHILLS down my body. Why does fear and trust always crop up in tandem together???...fearful of making a decision, fearful of what people might say in the same breath. You therefore become reluctant because you don't trust you will make the right decisions for the fear of recriminations, always feeling like the proverbial donkey caught between two bales of hay unable to choose.

Closely tied to this is our panic over making the wrong decision!!!. Instead paralysis consumes our choices and then over braining sets in.....What if I do that and it goes wrong??, did she/he tell me the truth or did they lie????...How can I be sure they won't do it to me again after all they lied to John and Janet so what's stopping them from doing the same to me???.

I suppose it's about acknowledging that in future you may need more time to allow for the unexpected delays, those that offer you several life opportunities in the form of Patience..................

Back to the 90's

2012-01-28T19:20:00.003Z

It's cold and rough out there so better crank up the heating.....90's tuness are definitely my favourite year music was good!!

Tuneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Answers

2012-01-28T14:38:00.004Z

Sometimes we siphon money like its water..through no fault of your own especially when car issues just don't leave you in peace. Woke up plagued with 20 questions from my daughter today and with each answer I gave she would look at me for a while and before I knew another question, what clarification could she possibly be looking for????. Am thinking where is she going with the information why today??.

I asked an important question myself today, one I wasn't quite sure off hence why I asked.....did I get the expected answer nadah. I don't particularly enjoy answering yes/no questions less so for open ended questions as there could be so many plausible responses.

When you ask a question and specifically ask for no bullshit answers, seems that's exactly what you get. The am not gonna commit myself to a definite response which leaves a lot for one to ponder on.

Right off to do a bit of bowling....hopefully won't get thrashed by the little madam again like last time....

Azonto

2012-01-27T16:06:00.002Z

Earlier on I was watching a clip on Asamoah Gyan, the Ghana football team striker, doing his celebratory dance. You know, keep up with the Africa Cup of Nations currently on. One of the comment on the video mentioned him doing the new dance crazed called Azonto. Never heard of it but as the video above shows its very popular. So @ChilledLeo what's the 411? Popular in London here too? Gonna teach me or what?

Over at blog my pen and my pad, dude posts a series of tutorials on how to correctly beat your wife in Islam. for real! this stuff is not made up. crazy

TGIF

dealing with death

2012-01-27T14:30:00.002Z

This is a build on what it means to move on from the current essence. In the video below I like how Quanaah says "death is on of our greatest advisers". Is death final? Is it a loss? A question of both spiritual and existential dimensions.

See, death can lead you to the role of a new life, as in when certain things crumble completely around you, you are presented with the mythical phoenix situation, where the opportunity to rebuild yourself presents itself. so death of a relationship, physical death, whatever, the thought process is somewhat the same. Shit many religions believe in notion of an afterlife ... life without end. Is this too far fetched a concept? We humans have developed a lot of strategies to cope with loss, we just don't ventilate enough on them. People commonly say "He/She's gone to a better place", a typical coping strategy, the thought that what has passed is not negative.

A thought to embrace and a guide to anyone who is faced with a loss, be it a loved one or a circumstance.

I love this guy. Quanaah builds on the finality of death and what it means to reflect on the nature of it. Very positive brother and we need more like him

OK OK OK no more talk of death ... lets live :)))

Different Strokes and an'all

2012-01-27T14:14:00.002Z

TGIF yay, was really looking forward to a very interesting evening with a couple of friends tonight. The plan was to meet up for a couple of Sambuccas and get down to some arm wrestling would have been a good night too. As usual you plan things and the suddenly something cropped up most definitely ruins things guaranteed. Oh well wasn't meant to be, instead am gonna have a chilled out evening and look forward to the slow down zone.

OK so it's Friday and I usually have a girlie discussion through lunch with the ladies, today seems some people are on the horny tip and so we went down the route of talking relationships and shagging lol.

For those visiting today you may or perhaps not remember I wrote a blog some months ago....Sticks and Stones should break my bones yet whips and chains excite me......go figure that was a major brain drain lol (http://swankanddirect.blogspot.com/2011/09/sticks-and-stones-should-break-my-bones.html)

The post was basically exploring the misconceptions associated with kinky play roles and desires in relationships and how certain people view this act of domination as immoral depending on which side of the fence you sit on.

The key point was that some 'KINKS' might be my vice yet to others it may be a turn off. Oh well as it goes 'different strokes for different folks', I stand firmly by that.

So my KINK might not be your kink but thas's ok (MKNYKBTO). Now am sure everyone can relate to that blazing heat that is to KINK, but in some cases your 'KINK' can be someone else's 'Squick'.

Sometimes you need a little something different, that vavavoom be it in the bedroom, car or perhaps on the kitchen floor. It's all about location, location, location adventure awaits those who seek thrill and excitement. We all need a little extra ''je ne se qua'' I know I do. It's that dash of something which may be idiomatic in expression, however if you are with the right partner then your interaction and sexual fire should literally be orgasmic in nature.

Most couples use BDSM to predicate the outcome of enjoyment in their sexual activities. For those who are reading and shaking their heads don't knock it. The mundane of everyday life can be BORING and sometimes you gotta put a little fire under that rocket and cause some sparks.

It could be talking dirty to each other, a spank here and there which can be a turn on for some people, yet others would be grimacing at the thought. What about fantasy coupled with some body paint, the type you can both lick off each other, blind folds, hand cuffs even better throw an extra body into the mix and there you have an exquisite bag of sweets.

So one of your partners KINK's may be using an inanimate object to fulfill their sexual fantasy. Remember the golden rule is that MKNYKBTO, therefore if a KINK is legal and consensual why do we feel the need to pull out our Judegy Pants???. Or why do we feel too embarrassed to tell the truth? Why not be honest??

Case in point the man who ends up in ER with a bottle stuck up their rear end

Doctor says: So what happened?

Patient replies: I accidentally fell on top of this wine bottle

Doctor say: You must have aimed correctly because it's made a right arse out of you

So remember before you pull on your judegy pants remember MKNYKBTO and as long as it's legal then it's OK. So anyone got anything they wanna get of their chest????

(Finishing off this trilogy Squicks and Brain Bleach)

Mumzzzzzz the Word

2012-01-27T11:55:00.010Z

Just the other day had a conversation with a very good friend of mine and as we spoke I soon realised she has lost that feeling of being herself. It’s all about being wife, mum, home make and in the mix she drives her day juggling business, house and family. I sensed that for her even going out has become one of those luxuries which she yearns. From a single person's perspective I can imagine having a friend who always breaks dates and appointments soon becomes a bit tiring as the excuses mount up.

“I can’t I’m a mum now,””I don’t do that anymore now I’ve got Sable””You’ll understand when you have kids (or more kids if you’ve only the one), you just don’t do that sort of thing when you’re a mum.”

Sound familiar? Most people know at least one person like this, some know more and sometimes I swear they graze the school playgrounds, shopping centres, online forums looking to herd people along to their way of thinking. Now I’m not saying this is every mum, most mums or even just mums. Sometimes it’s dads too. But there are some mums just like this. That will use these following words.

Scenario A:

Person 1: Fancy bungee jumping without ropes this weekend for the first time? Or swimming crocodile infested waters with me?

Person 2: Erh no not suicidal thanks, wasn’t my thing before and now I’ve got my kids to think about as well as myself it’s even less so.

Scenario
A= perfectly normal response, yes they have kids but they aren’t an excuse or
just part of a reason.

Scenario B:

Person 1: Fancy setting a date to come for a drink down the pub with me for a bit?, or dinner somewhere?

Person 2: Erh no, sorry I don’t do that sort of thing now I’m a mum.

Scenario
B= WTF? You did it before, you’regretting to set time in advance and it’s a good close friend wanting to see you. Why wouldn’t you make time? or more importantly, if you don’t want to spend time, why use being a mum as an excuse and not be honest?

Possibly in the case of going for a drink, some people would give a complete excuse rather than a reason. I got this excuse often and would wonder why......why can’t you sit in Yates, have dinner, a drink and trundle home at half nine because you are a mum????. It’s not like I asked you on the spot, we’re arranging it for the future and I haven’t said to come to Liquid clubbing and flash your knickers at passing men!!! (not that there’s anything wrong with that if that’s your thing, different stokes and all, but I think you’ll find less people taking you up on it-parent or not lol. Hello, are you just ‘mum’ and nothing more, isn’t there a Karen Thomas in there somewhere? Where did your identity go?

This is one of my main issues with those that use the excuses about being a mum. There’s using it as part of a reason, or there’s being honest and saying you are settled and don’t enjoy hanging out with your mates so much/going ...drinking/clubbing/bowling whatever.

And there’s not being honest and grouping these excuses as though all mums think this way, or should act this way. That once you are mum....THAT’S IT! You are making ‘mum’ your only identity like all mums are the same and feel/should act this way once they become mums.

Which is rubbish because things are different person to person family to family and of course things change, your child becomes the centre of you/you and your partner(s) lives. That child is your everything, but that child is not your only thing. That child does not define YOU. Being a mum is not your only function, not all of who you are, it’s a major part yes and who wouldn’t be proud of being a parent and having a child you love and adore? But it’s not your only thing and it’s certainly not something to hide behind.

The saddest thing is when one of my friend’s tells me that now she’s a mum but doesn’t have much sex, doesn’t want to try new things in the bedroom or even redo old ones. She claims being a mum makes all that immoral and distasteful. Yet on closer reflection when you converse with them it becomes evident that other issues are in play...

Other issues of she’s (and this is her personally) tired, fed up, she doesn’t get help with the kids or round the house, dad buggers off and acts the single man then yells at her when she asks for her own time or help, or pesters her with texts when she takes 2 hours out and he’s left ‘babysitting’ (don’t you f****ing hate that word for a dad taking care of his own younglings?), she doesn’t feel they get time together, doesn’t get time to herself, doesn’t feel sexy...and so on.

So it’s far more complex then ‘I’m a mum now, can’t do that’. And it holds true for a lot of other women I’ve spoken to, some who admit using it and now seeing it as an excuse and the problems being big and un-communicated and some who are stuck in the delusion and hiding behind that word. And often, especially online, they feed each other, because it’s easier to agree with someone saying ‘not now I’m a mum’ and feed their delusion and your own, then admit the more complex truth.

So people challenge yourself on this if this is you, or listen/talk to a friend if it’s them. Are you just a mum, nothing more....or are you a complex individual that has many thoughts, feelings,opinions and reasons behind what you are saying? Being a mum doesn’t mean hiding behind a veil of excuses, it means shouting for joy and embracing life whilst sticking your fingers up at the thing that you don’t/do want: the person, the individual with their own thought processes,morals and gumption....

I enjoy being a mum immensely but truth be told being ME is the best feeling in the world!!!!

fishbone boogie

2012-01-27T11:04:00.004Z

Editor's note: Fishbone is also a U.S. alternative rock band formed in 1979 in Los Angeles, California, which plays a fusion of ska, punk rock, funk, hard rock and soul.

Jeez how much more morbid can chrome be in one day lol! Having just read Dawna's blog about her brother (sorry bros) I remember a time I almost croaked on a fish bone. Must've been around 20 at the time eating in some shitty little restaurant. My friend was agitating to leave so I woofed down the Tilapia fish I was eating. As I spooned the last of my rice the world turned very funny. I could feel the fish bone in my throat and tried to swallow hard but nothing was happening. I grabbed a drink of water and tried to drink it down but, very involuntarily, the rice and water went flying from my mouth as I fell down and started to choke violently. The weirdest thing was the intense feeling of blacking out as dark spots swam in my vision. Strangely this felt very comfortable - I know I morbidly mused on the nature of death for a long time afterwards. Then I felt someone dragged me off the floor, bend me over (no homo) and give me repeated bloody punches in the middle of my back. My mouth opened and the stupid fish bone came flying. Everything instantly came back to normal, like very instant. I turned to see my saviour and it was the guy sitting a few tables away, my bloody friend having not known what to do. I bent down and picked the fish bone, a tiny bloody little thing that almost put me 6 feet under. The cheek of it.

And thus began my love hate affair with fish

A Public Service Announcement

2012-01-27T10:10:00.000Z

Some experiences are weird but some are beyond that. take a HIV test for instance, especially where you get told the result of the test procedure immediately, like in 4 minutes maximium (though officially the kit advertises 60 seconds). OK, if one had previously known of this new and improved 'instant' procedure yeah cool, but to be told on the day, right before the event is ... fucked up scary. Finger pricked, blood sample taken and dropped into dish thingy, medical solution poured in, both parties sit back and wait. Count down to 4 minutes begins.

Inquisitor ignores you, looking at medical notes with studied deadpan indifference. Does he get some perverse pleasure from this? Some God complex? You try to make small talk but everything comes out all wrong. You revert to type, rising panic, but oddly calm in the face of uncertainty. Interesting range of emotions as you look at the clock. Only 2 fucking minutes passed! What! Thoughts turn existential in preparation for a dreaded positive test outcome.

Right, up front this shit virus is completely and utterly unlike others and is very deadly if AIDS develops though treatment is very advanced unlike old ... so ... does one announce to the world and face the wrath of intolerance and stigma? Become a campaigner and counselor for others, join Bill Gates foundation? Take out a whacking insurance policy and lie on the application form? Become a hermit and fuck off to a mountain in Tibet or Kenya? Push boundaries and become a super achiever, like cram it all in because earth time is now premium? Its three and a half minutes now and both parties become fidgety.

Inquisitor explains this test is quite unnecessary and not normally offered given the sexual demographic Mr. Test Subject belongs too, elaborates it's usually given to gay men, drug addicts using shared needles, people that have unprotected sex with many partners, or people who have sex with sex workers (did he mean hookers?). But of course Mr. Test Subject didn't buy into the explanation hence the ongoing test. Perhaps its the know-it-all-i-am-god face of Inquisitor that forced the test. Did Mr. Test Subject hope to prove him wrong? why and how fucking perverse is that? The count down is in the seconds and Inquisitor turns his attention to dish thingy filled with blood and medical solution. 1 second.

"See! Its negative! You are clear! but I could have told you that. take these zillion condoms and these leaflets! Now piss off and get on with your life!"

These instant tests - the popular one being INSTI HIV, with a high reliability percentage - give one of three results - Positive for HIV, Negative, and Inconclusive which requires retesting. The explanation for positive is quite funny and a bit off key as it could mean you have the HIV virus or you have a high level of HIV anti-bodies in your system - yeah like the fuck that's supposed to mean? There is of course the rare case of false negative where test says you are clear but you are not. This is just elaboration but remember you could still insist on the lab version which takes a week to do - 100% conclusive. I'm not sure what the UK public health policy is on this (I read the test kit is very costly) but I think it should be offered more widely if they wish to effectively combat this virus menace. What puts people off testing is usually the wait time and the mad uncertainty while waiting for results - can drive the weak minded crazy. I know this very well as I've been there. It will be interesting to see developments in the coming years and a hope for a day when the HIV virus is eradicated, lord knows in the poor countries of Africa and Asia these tests cost a fair penny.

The moral of this blog post is that we humans are very imperfect. You could meet a partner, have protected sex with condoms and, as it goes, stop doing so, especially as you get comfortable with each other. You or themselves may not know they have HIV - it doesn't exactly advertise itself. For the younger people there are the drunken one-night-stands. Apparently the human bodies is swarmed with viruses, most of which don't cause any harm. We are exposed to these things, sexual via skin contact and otherwise, and nothing untoward happens to us. But there are a few like the Ebola virus and HIV, very tricky customers indeed, for which our bodies have no natural defenses for - and don't get me started on eating Monkey meat (and don't even say it tastes like chicken). The only combat against them is to do the right thing. Enough of my moralising but you get the picture.

For what it is worth, for infections that only happen from penile penetration, use protection, stay safe and go for regular testing - it is not invasive, quick and conclusive. And get yourself tested, knowing where you stand could save your fucking life.

1

Doing it well...back to the 90's

2012-01-26T21:25:00.005Z

I love these classic tunes....am getting ready for TGIF. This week has been exciting to the MAX a real mixed bag of emotions. Right this minute it's all good though....

Tuneeeeeeee

Damnnnnnn

If I had known

2012-01-26T13:52:00.002Z

If I had known. Classic line we all use it, all heard it and most times things happen and you think shoot if I had known that was gonna happen maybe I would have done XYZ.....or perhaps letters were never gonna prevent the inevitable from occurring. Oh well as I say one should always whatever the weather be ready to deal with stormy wind chills. Eventually things do calm down.

Had a rubbish panini...even the coke didn't do the washing down process any justice.

afrobeats for your soul

2012-01-26T12:03:00.000Z

I'm not religious but sometimes things happen for a reason. or don't happen ... or refuse to happen. make of it what you will but sometimes, when food for the body just doesn't want to happen, it means its time for soul food. you know, that deep reflection and communal vibing on shared concerns and the like. its almost like some divine force is setting the pace, and no matter how you try to slide off the route you are somehow forced back on it. I'm all in some super zen mode

download mixtape (mp3) or listen online

right! enuff of that!

DJ Abrantee's Afrobeats mixtape Vol.1 heavy or fucking what? Never heard of the Ghanaian breddah until I encountered a mention on the excellent okayafrica.com website. Finally downloaded Abrantee's mixtape over the weekend and ... fiyah!!! The breddah from Ghana is a maestro on the 1s and 2s decks and the mixtape doesn't let up on dropping tune after tune after tune .. from D'banj's Oliver Twist to .. ahh man just listen to the mix and you'll feel me. A few videos of tracks featured on the mixtape, Zigi - U say wetin and Stay Jay - Shashee Wowo. dude you gotta tell us when next you play a set in London .. swanky will definitely be in the house!!!

put on your dancing shoes :)))

Queues

2012-01-26T09:54:00.002Z

I hate waiting in queues....you go hair dresser, doctor, shopping, airport, even in your own damn house there is a queue some where. If not waiting to take a leak in the bathroom you're guaranteed to find a cue for watching TV is there any aspect of our lives we don't have to wait on someone???

midweek monkey

2012-01-25T08:51:00.001Z

whatsapp texting on android rocks!

wouldn't it be nice to duck to sunny climes? like just for today, in working hours, 9-to-5? so laptop, satelite broadband, bottles of fruit juice and a bag of ital ganja, white sand and blue seas .... ahh :-) i know, i know, wishful. looking around me at poor tired rush hour souls on the train i'm sure they wish the same. It sounds off key but viable (in my head at least).

Just looked at the Metro newspaper headline and this couple won £40m euros on friday and all they can think of is changing the carpet. Carpet? Man! i would wipe out third world debt with that dough! Whats the matter with people? ;-) I should rob them or befriend them, whichever is easier.

Yesterday hardeep at work handed in his notice. Third guy this month to hit the eject button. top dude and friend, a rare thing in the work place. makes u re-evaluate and wish for a similar change. but is change for change sake a bit knee jerky?

1

classic choon, busta popped off on this one

Mixtape heroes: Favourite DJs on the 1s and 2s

2012-01-24T12:06:00.001Z

damn! shortee blitz, concert and radio dj, has been holding it down since fucking day 1. One of the first people I heard on radio when I first arrived in the UK

listen and see how he pays his bills ...

TIMBALAND HIP HOP MINI POWERMIX by Shortee Blitz! on Mixcloud

Still on DJs you know it's an event when man like DJ Underdog releases a new mixtape ... and doesn't Underdog design the best mixtape cover sleeves on the fucking planet?!

AFRICA IN YOUR EARBUDS #10: DJ UNDERDOG by okayafrica

One song featured on DJ Underdog's mixtape is the huge tune "U Go Kill Me" by Sarkodie and E.L. The video to the song shows the very popular and infectious Azondo dance .. learn and enjoy bishes!

You Don't Have to Be Perfect

2012-01-23T23:54:00.002Z

So Why do we question other peoples reasons for their choices in life?

Barely end of the month and I have done two things that scare the shit out of me. I am happy got 11more months to change things.

It's Cold

2012-01-23T22:49:00.003Z

I am feeling Colder than I have ever felt!!!!!!

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can. ~Danny Kaye

Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told: "I am with you kid. Let's go." ~Maya Angelou

Life: It is about the gift not the package it comes in. ~Dennis P. Costea, Jr.

Eating, loving, singing and digesting are, in truth, the four acts of the comic opera known as life, and they pass like bubbles of a bottle of champagne. Whoever lets them break without having enjoyed them is a complete fool. ~Gioacchino Rossini

Life huh without any turmoil just doesn't work....

Two great Divas amazing voices!!!

Anyone seen my friends?

2012-01-23T12:03:00.001Z

A "really good" friend "accidentally" called me yesterday afternoon. he sounded more shocked than I was to have me at the other end of the line, made me really chuckle. we haven't spoken or seen each other for going on 7 years, reasons best known to himself. As awkward silence bubbles developed he struggled to find words. I had to save him from himself

"dude it's OK yeah, ain't a thing. we'll speak later"

I could speculate why he's been AWOL for all this time but we are grown folk. If you are constantly reaching out to someone to inquire how they are, always the one arranging going out, meeting up and what not and getting no love for your effort, then at some point you have to give it up. The last time we spoke he was on about being busy and how he'll hook up when he is done. The last I heard from him till yesterday. Probably won't hear from him till the next "accidental" phone call.

People have their way of dealing with personal issues and sometimes they duck and block everyone out till things are fine. I can get that and might brush off feeling offended from spurned contacts for a few months, might accept a quick email/text/phone call saying big tings are gwan and they'll get back to me. But six/seven years of silence? Last summer I got his nephew a holiday job in my company and the young boy and his mother were very surprised I hadn't seen or spoken to his uncle for that long. Went to great lengths to explain I hadn't fought, stolen his uncle's wife and money, or quarreled with anyone.

Talking of AWOL friends I got hit up on Google Talk by my man K on Friday, like randomly. I've not seen this brethren since his marriage in early 2010. The most magnificent wedding I've ever attended with Pakistani drummers, dancers and singers, lots of good food and merriment. Tried to get hold of him (emails, texts, phone calls) a few months later but nada. didn't sweat it and put the lack of contact due to the travelling involved in his job and newly married life. FFWD 2012 and he just pops up on Google talk, like how he's now divorced, moved up North, changed profession. I'm like ... ? OK but ... divorced? dude the last time we saw each other you were getting bloody married? Apparently it was all arranged (something he said wasn't the case when he was preppin' for the wedding), he didn't know the girl very well and how the girl had no respect for him, his family and mistreated his mother. I was quite stunned to hear it all cos I clearly remember meeting a very respectful young lady he doted on a lot. Did marriage change her? Or was it just my friend? family interference? the perils of the arranged marriage

And in 2012 I still haven't heard anything from my girl who got married to her Italian sweetheart (old blog post)

ps: is there like a newspaper where you can place classified ads for finding missing friends?

They play football in Africa you know!

2012-01-23T10:04:00.000Z

Africa Cup of Nations (ACN) 2012 competition has started and I'm yet to get into it (or find a reason too). between catching snippets of car crash TV, what with middle aged women flashing their tits on Celebrity Big Brother (compelling watch, and no not for the titties), and updating a friend's website I'm stretched for free time. Egypt, Nigeria and Cameroon are very conspicuous with their absence, and without the so-called power houses trior of African football the competition is almost a non starter. I could be wrong here and we are witnessing the emergence of a new era. If we are someone show me something positive Excellent, brutally honest and very candid assessment of African football written by the Guardian team covering the games. So the question remains. is African football progressing? or is it just a factory for the archetype strong "muscular and athletic" African footballer fodder to feed the European football leagues?

And so I turn my attention to my country Nigeria. Did you wonder why they never qualified for ACN? With the on-going problem with Islamic terrorism and new descent to poverty with the removal of the fuel subsidy there is really nothing good to say about the country. I mean how do you explain 510 people Igbo Christian people killed since August last year and 54,000 to ethnic violence since 2001 (sahara reporters)? These Boko Haram religious murderers hate western education and want to abolish it and institute Sharia Law across Nigeria. What planet? The ethnic murder of my people by the Northern Islamic terrorists make me wonder why we bother with the country Nigeria. But its all we have and we have to salvage Nigeria from this on-going car crash Government headed by Jonathan Goodluck (what a name ey?) and terrorists before one of them destroys it beyond repair.

#occupynigeria

pop goes the weasel

2012-01-22T23:53:00.001Z

I looked up to see her pop her head round the corner.
my eyes went pop for I never seen a head that beautiful.
I straightened my shirt and gave my collar a pop and said hi with the biggest smile.
then she opened her mouth and my scheming ideas went pop, my face visibly dropping to the sound of her ghetto voice.

pop goes the weasel

daddy pop, sat next to me asked what was wrong.
"nothing daddy-o just need to pop next door and get some cigarettes"
I heard a pop sound as the waiter opened a bottle of beer
"oi I wanted a pop drink not a beer! wha kinda woman you take me fa?"
why does this ghetto girl have to pop into a classy joint like this and make up noise?
as I left the bar I vaguely heard my dad's voice, asking me to pop a quarter into the jukebox

Brandy - Top Of The World Feat. Mase

2012-01-22T22:14:00.001Z

Last glass of wine murdered am ready for a new week...

Bustaaaaaaaaaa

2012-01-22T14:39:00.002Z

In the Mix!!

2012-01-22T14:32:00.002Z

Tuneeee

Devotions

2012-01-22T14:25:00.003Z

Some real music to ease me into my mellow Sunday!!!

Change it!!

2012-01-22T14:09:00.007Z

Yesterday was one of those hectic gotta pack all into the day before the new week begins again. Did a bit of reading to bed 'The Power of Now' great book and an inspiring read. A book with objectivity aimed at looking at the current situation in your life and using the power of now to transform how you think about life, food, spirituality, sex, family and most importantly YOURSELF.

As human beings we don't often welcome change very well at all, especially if it causes us to admit we were WRONG. Why have regrets any and everything you do should be a reflection of how you are growing as a person, not necessarily influenced by anyone, but rather because you know yourself well enough to make a CHOICE and a conscious decision regarding any situation or scenario you may be faced with. The main thing is telling yourself ''I can handle the outcome of my decision whatever the outcome may be".

Sunday is such a nice day to chill relax and enjoy the day of REST. Today am gonna be a couch potato and catch up on overindulging in everythinggggggggggg.

I am feeling good today and keeping a thankful attitude for the real genuine people in my life. As Billy Graham quotes.....Life is a glorious opportunity don't let the little things stop you from enjoying the fruits of living today. Roll on FUN times!!

Whatever your Sunday brings relax into the feeling and remember no one is gonna make you HAPPY but YOU.

Star Crossed Love...

2012-01-21T22:13:00.010Z

A while ago I wrote a blog post on astrology and dating (Written in the Stars)- how the heck are you meant to find the right combination in a partner????....Yes, I am still sitting here scratching my damn head cause I can't figure out how that’s supposed to work.

Once upon a time hunting was considered the practise of pursuing any living thing, usually wildlife for food, recreation or trade, well come the 20th century and we no longer use hunting tools for pursuing the objects of our desire...or do we?. If you consider dating and the idea of hunting (that is a whole other board game and blog post) there are so many objects used to woe, entice and en lust, but in terms of finding that Mr and Miss right it seems we keep coming up against Mr and Miss/Mrs wrong over and over again......

So am proposing and introducing the Starminator- guaranteed to match you to the right star sign and if you're not happy there is a 30day warranty, send the damn catch back to wherever it came from.

Had a really playful and rather insightful conversation with a girlfriend of mine a few days ago and the topic of star gazing propped up again as a subject, not just for talking sake but we both see a significant pattern within the way we choose our potential mates. I am fully aware that some people and I say this with a completely straight face...some people don’t condone or believe the stars influence or can have an effect on who we invite into our lives. Fair enough, different strokes (and belief/opinion) for different folks.

Star Crossed Love or Just Coincidence???

But fundamentally, without looking at my own personal astrology and listing my strengths/weakness etc first, I find when I read up on my star sign there are things I see in myself which are definitely mirrored and the same goes for others.

From previous experience, I am very certain that men of water star signs, such as Cancer men in particular, I DO NOT GEL with nadahhhhh PERIOD too much crabby water inflicted behaviour and quite frankly this Leo cannot take too much water activity. You can’t douse my damn flames. I also tried the over touchy don't wanna leave you alone needy Pieces man... hellllll no dude had me running hurdles double time. Then I thought jackpot, found me a matching Leo man and when I say the fire brigade would not be able to put this fire out trust me. First time interacting on the phone with this guy barkkkkkk argument, huge disagreement over what??? do I care now NOOOOOOOOOO. Fact of the matter is it was a case of too much fire, get the hell out of that kitchen and save your valuables loool.

Mind you sometimes fire signs can work well together. I know an Aries man and Sagittarius Lady who get on (pardon the pun) like a house on fire, but both of them were born earlier then they should have been (and would have been different star signs if they hadn't), maybe they have attributes of the other signs which makes them more compatible...who knows?

Ahhhh then my pattern begins again this time Virgo men so far counted 6 to date....for some unexplainable reason I get on with these characters the best, although I tend to find they can only take me in small doses too much and they are climbing the walls hahahaha. Only one Virgo man has been able to step up and play in my jungle, if I didn't know any better I would have to say he was born a couple of days too soon. Really should have been a Leo because his mannerism and personality are so much like mine it's weird almost as though he’s a mirror image of me. All good though.

So try it out for yourself, look over yourself and past/present loves and see what using the Starminator tells you, could be interesting....

And if you’re looking for that special someone or perhaps a bunch of interim fun-loving someones and not getting too far in your pursuit, then there’s always another tool- Cosmic ordering. It’s not proven, could be pseudo science, a whole bunch of bollocks or could help you in your quest...who knows? But give it a try and be open to it, and let me know what happens.

So what is Cosmic ordering?

It’s a process thought to involve interaction with the universe by putting your request forward. An idea driven by when we say things out loud, literally means we are giving the universe an ‘order’ or sorts, much like a takeaway or dinner. And much like in ordering food, if you talk about bad stuff you’re 90% likely to end up with bad too.

Talk about how sour pork balls normally are for you and guess what...you’re more likely to find them sour, but hey next time that’s exactly what you will try again (especially if you keep being a masochist and trying out the same ‘restaurants’). Talk about how you only end up with time wasters and you attract them, why? Because you’ve gone on about them so much the universe thinks it’s what you want. Hmmm I see a pattern emerging here!!

The Ordering System???

So Cosmic ordering works by following a sequence of events where by, you to go to your window, late at night look out and tell the universe using the words I want, exactly what you want. The idea is that in one month, one thing happens, 1-3 months later the next does and so on.

When I asked about winning the lottery, she/he laughed and told me I would probably win at some point. Therefore if I actually follow the logic of the cosmic ordering it might work, but given how many people wish for the same it’s likely the jackpot win I want would probably be split between millions giving me the lovely £4:50 I won this weekend.

So....If you've tried everything else and nothing seems to be working it’s worth a try. I know ladies and gents who swear by it and others who won’t try it because it sounds too dumb, but as one friend says ‘whether the universe is listening or not, doing this help may help alleviate some of your angst and give some clarity to what *YOU* want. Call this cliche but often that’s what spurs you on with confidence and maybe what will ultimately fetch your star crossed love.’

Happy hunting hope the stars are aligned for you tonight!!

iGlide | Coffee Break | Dubstep

2012-01-20T22:08:00.000Z

I I thought this was pretty neat gotta get my glide on.....not a drop spilt!!

PORKIESSS and tears!!!

2012-01-18T20:21:00.009Z

My day started of a little slow but on a good note till my friend popped her head in my office. At first glance her happy cheery smile had disappeared and I could tell she had been crying eyes glazed over with pain. When she opened her mouth didn't finish her sentence and the first thing I thought was................

Incompetent that's what one is labeled when they just can't do the simplest thing right. Today I realise some men are just PLAIN incompetent fools..............

For the first time I couldn't console my friend today who is absolutely DEVASTATED by the news her partner of ten years has been spinning her PORKIESSSS for nearly 3 fuckingggggg years about something she felt she could trust him with.

What gripes me even more is that he was planning to get married to my friend and she took the bait Arrrrrgggggghhhh men!!!!!!!!!. Sad part about all this is my friend so desperately wanted to start a family with him and just enjoy the rest of her life. And shcokinglyyyyyy she still loves this FOOLISH man................yeah I said it FOOLISH!!!!!!!!!!!

The only positive thing that came out of our conversation is that she has half way accepted the situation which will not be going any where....in my presence she calmly said to me...""""Funny thing is I don't even hate him"""""". Those words were music to my ears because that's step one of her healing process initiated and by talking things through with someone qualified she will get back to her place of happy again.

My piece of advice to her is TAKE each day one step at a time and DO NOT RUSH INTO ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP. Enjoy finding yourself again!!

Something has to give

2012-01-18T16:52:00.003Z

Today I woke up feeling a little lost with the direction my life is going but aside from that feel well rested. I recognised that an important aspect of my daily routine is driving to work and is pretty taxing having a significantly negative output on my life. Not spending enough time with my daughter, not spending enough time restructuring my life, 24 hours in a day 7 days in a week not enough TIME.

I am falling behind on the things that matter the most, through fault of no one but me. If I want things to happen for me this year then I better put the wheels in motion. One thing is for sure however drastic these actions will be, I am clear will piss a few people off yet I am the one who will have to deal with the consequences.

Oh well choices we make them some disastrous but I won't know till I put myself forward. As they say it's now or never so I'd rather choose now!!!. Fuck it some rules are meant to be BROKEN.

I thought I told you about the Air Miles??

2012-01-17T23:13:00.012Z

OK so yesterday I posed 3 questions on which I am going to play devils advocate to Question 2. Following on from my last Post How many air miles are you building a case in point.!!

GETTING TO KNOW YOU FEELS NICE

I shall use the case of Susana and Thomas who have just reestablished a relationship that fizzled out two years prior to them hooking up again. Things are moving on swimmingly well before they can both blink family introductions are initiated yadi yadi yaaaa, to choosing paint colours for their new house and oh did I mention that this newly developed relationship is flourishing and buzzing to the max. The man is highly charged and the woman equally purring with excitement at her new found love. So events take a sudden turn and Thomas decides he wants to marry this woman, damn that moved quickly; surely they must be making a mistake right????. Hmmmmm on the contrary no, life stipulates that if a couple are in love they can get married whenever they so choose if that's their goal.

The scenario is this, Susana who lived in the US, met Thomas (who lives in London) at a seminar in the states (2007) 2 years prior to them getting together. Although they liked each other initially things fizzled out and they left it at that. Luckily another chance meeting a year after in 2008, they started dating again communicated regularly and formed a long distance relationship which was based on travels between the two countries. Susana literally moved down to London 2008 and within a year, her and Thomas were engaged to be married.

ARE YOU THE SAME PERSON I MARRIED?

OK great, wedding day arrives all goes well time to consummate the marriage and Susana is requesting sexual favours of her new husband Thomas. Favours that involve bondage. WTF???? Thomas is stunned at his wife, for not only does he not know her very well, she had invited her partner of 7 years to join them on their wedding night of love making. OMG!!!!!!

So we have a man not just a little bit shocked, but his world is crashing down around him newly married for just 9hours. Hold on Susana, this was never part of the deal, we are married now and secondly part of my religion is that I do not practise sex before marriage so technically I am still a virgin as I lay here beside you. Oh boi situation is getting dire here; I thought they knew each other, thought they spoke through these very important issues, thought being together for over a year sex and making love would have been on the table several times already???

So does that mean getting to know each other for one year was not enough to hold their relationship together??? surely they had covered most grounds couples would have discussed in the three years they knew each other right??...surely they communicated well via telephone and emails right????. So how could this have happened??.

WE FORGOT TO COMMUNICATE LOVINGLY

This happened why, because during their getting to know each other stage 2years ago, Susana had posed the question of open relationships to Thomas in a retrospective figuratively speaking manner, but obviously Thomas had underestimated the extent at which his new wife was immersed in that kind of sexual activity. Susana had an open relationship with a partner of over 7 years, something Thomas knew about even before they got together, the problem is Thomas assumed Susana would leave that part of her life outside their marriage.

What is Thomas's problem here I don't understand??....he knew about Susana's sexual orientation so why the sour note???...Had he forgotten he gave Susana permission to engage in sexual conduct with her former partner on the premise that he held his religion so strongly and was unwilling to make love to her???. Had he forgotten this was now part of Susana's life style and one she was not about to relinquish???...Had he forgotten he did not satisfy his wife willingly so they agreed she would find this else where??

CAN WE FIX THE SITUATION?

A fine example of a HUGE communication breakdown and even more pertinent people change over the years. How you knew them back in which ever century isn't necessarily how you will find them in the present time. So my Question here is how important is it for couples to set limitations in their relationship and at what point do you lay down the ground rules??

Surely this man no longer trust his wife and his wife a very sensual woman had come to the realisation her husband may not fulfill her needs as she desired right????....

But let me re-jig your memory they had already discussed this issue way before they got together; Hypothetically speaking (Susana had communicated the question in 2007) we are in a relationship everything is going fine...but I pose the question to you Thomas...""""Do you expect me to tell you if I was seeing someone NEW??? and would you tell me if you were seeing someone NEW??""""

We need to stop talking at our partners and start talking more loving to them simply put!!!

As Susan Jeffers Quotes: Every relationship has its good and its bad points. By focusing on the good we thrive, allowing us to creatively and lovingly deal with the bad.

How many air miles are you building??

2012-01-17T20:11:00.016Z

I had an interesting conversation the other day regarding taste, senses and how we all see things differently based on our perceptions. Do you sometimes feel that instead of talking to your partner you talk at THEM??. What is the significance here you may ask and the point is have you noticed how incredibly eager and attentive a new love interest becomes in the early stages of wanting to know more about you?... That insatiable I want to know every little thing about you, from the cereal you eat in the morning to your favorite collection of hmmmmm.

At any early stage of courting, I always wonder are we talking to the other person in a loving manner or are we talking at them, which means they literally take home no INFORMATION from you. Relationships funny old thing, been described as a roller coaster, fine wine give it time to mature, a life lesson from which you learn and acquire knowledge of great wealth by going through many unprecedented obstacles that, if pain didn't have a threshold we'd all be constantly HURTING.

When we meet someone new the whole excitement and rush of adrenaline can sometimes be overwhelming however the listening and communication skills should never leave us, for when that breaks down, be rest assured the relationship will be AIR MILES APART. There are some questions we should ask openly without fear of the other person judging us, there are some questions we should ask for clarity rather than later on down the line one partner comes out with """" But I thought I told you""""

Martin Luther King Jr. In Ghana

2012-01-17T09:17:00.000Z

"I can remember when Mrs. King and I first journeyed to Africa to attend the independence celebration of the new nation of Ghana (6^th March 1957). We were very happy about the fact there were now eight independent countries in Africa. But since that night in March, 1957, some twenty-seven new independent nations have come into being in Africa. This reveals to us that the old order of colonialism is passing away, and the new order of freedom and human dignity is coming into being.

But not only have we seen the old order in its international dimensions, we have seen it in our own nation in the form of slavery and racial segregation. We all know the long history of the old order in America. It had its beginning in 1619 when the first slaves landed on the shores of this nation. They were brought here from the soils of Africa. Unlike the Pilgrim fathers who landed at Plymouth a year later, they were brought here against their wills."

1

ps: Martin Luther King, Jr. Day

Night Cap

2012-01-17T00:37:00.002Z

Boatifulllllllll

Preachhhh Sister

Thumbs up to Mr T.

I lovee this tuneee

After all that elixir am gonna sleep well.....my thermostat is well and truly on HOT!!!!

Open your mind

2012-01-16T23:55:00.005Z

OK so over the weekend my mind did a lot of relaxing to the point it zoned in on certain nuances we come across in our daily lives, some of which you can google, wiki or ask the old butler Jeeves and guaranteed will come up with x amounts of hits and explanations yet none of the results will satisfy our curiosity. So then we turn to the good old English grammar decoder known as the Dictionary even better the Thesaurus where you will find , synonyms and antonyms!!!!!....as I type, am decoded to the max any more and brain drain shall set in.

To balance things off I wondered off to sin city and read a few books to get my orgasmic flow going, pillow talk was indeed wonderful!!!

The Pertinent Questions I intend to extrapolate further through the course of this week...

1) Getting naked and at one with nature....the key word is NATURE Adam and Eve came home naked yet even they felt a certain way and covered up with leaves. How strange or more so how is it that society has changed our mind set that we feel embarrassed when naked in front of others. I suppose being naked for most represents or insinuates some sort of sexual activity right hence the stigma. I thought this was the twentieth century freedom of speech and all!!!.

2) I asked a very important question yesterday because I needed validation to something that has got me bugged slightly.

Hypothetically speaking, so am in a relationship everything is going fine...but I pose the question to the guy... "Do you expect me to tell you if I was seeing someone NEW??? and would you tell me if you were seeing someone NEW??. I was told it's a strange question but I asked for a very good reason which I may need to explain!!!

Clearly trust with this person has a lot to be desired, and they say when too much doubt seeps in you need to jack it and leave!!! What would you DO??

3) When Life Interferes with Love do we will ourselves into getting upset to the point of exhaustion or do we learn to change what is not working?

One thing I know for sure is this....................

Excuses from me, you him, her, they, them eventually consumes your thoughts, the thoughts become your fears, the fears become your barrier yet if you stopped to look deeply you'll find those excuses can change the shifting carpet you walk on.

So don't be fooled EXCUSES can only free you if you remember to """"Encompass your fears, Xtrapolate on your inhibitions, Cry if you need to, Undo the knots, Share your thoughts, Erase the negative and Shine"""

Freeze Frame

2012-01-16T22:55:00.008Z

The weekend was just awesome because for the first time in ages managed to RELAX and enjoy my day and Sunday was absolutely perfect. I found myself looking back on various aspects of life, the people you meet randomly on the street, those you work with and those you build a bond with, the type I call an organic soup of homogeneous friendship.

Did a bit of reading, lots of eating, drinking and looking back on some old memories which by the way aren't always pictures. Reading back on some conversations I had just put lots of happy smiles on my face the responses just classic. I think the getting to know you stage of meetig someone new is the most playful and exciting part of any courtship and should be enjoyed. These two paragraphs are some of my favourite responses and some parts had me in stitches others very touching for what it is!!!!. At least I can freeze frame whenever I want go back and read some more!!!.

Response 1

Naa abena
It was nice to see you in the gym albeit short. I waited and waited and waited ... felt you were coming today (yeah I used my third eye). I had a long hard think about what you told me last week and some of the information touched me I think looking at your pictures last night put all you said in perspective. The way parts of our lives pan out can be a bit effed up but that's the beauty of life, we are alive and can make great efforts to correct our paths through it. as they say "one life to live". I felt a great desire to hug and hold you close but we have to settle for fancy handshakes.

As corny as it may seem I give you a 10/10. Yes at the time I thought the comment was very corny indeed still trying to work out what the pass mark was in aid off will never know now but it made me smile!!!!

Response 2

Ms H20!
Hope you enjoying your last day b4 back to work. was a bit anxious going in this morning (after 2.5 weeks) but business as usual, didn't forget my passwords. I enjoyed our lunch yesterday, bellyful and soulful

Not completely full moon, prolly by sat. till then I will resist talking to random females on the train. actually this really pretty girl, couldn't tell where she's from, asked me the time and we started this big ol' smiling competition. disgusting init!

Yeah let the brethren chew on some fat, if he wants a relationship he better work at it or come clean. all good still

Oh how fascinating this thing called life!!!!!!!!

Excuse ME for I need to rant!!

2012-01-16T22:37:00.004Z

Today I displayed one of my leo characteristics at work I was spitting chips at most people pun not intended...what do I mean??? by my terms translates ANNOYEDDDDD to the core...... I won't go into details could be a very long post..... After my two hour lunch break at star bucks eventually I calmed down. Some people just love to ruin the first day of the week for you don't they??? why because they are Fuck witssssssssssssssssssss!!!!

Monday mellow mood!!

2012-01-16T10:13:00.000Z

Wind down mode.....

2012-01-14T19:56:00.002Z

Blimey what is with the sub-zero almost catching hypothermia weather pantss???. Anyway I didn't let the antarctic runnings stop me from having a lovely day and finally I can sit my arse down and relax into the rest of Saturday. One rum and coke for the road, perhaps two or three. Anyway just what the doctor ordered to warm up my evening!!!

RIP what a tuneeee

Ur Just like a Pill

2012-01-13T23:57:00.011Z

In approximately one minute TGIFriday will be done and dusted for another week phew just about made it. Crazy week running helter skelter, work home and the juggling has been hell not to mention inconvinced by the blooming cold on top of everything else. I think Friday was good managed to wind up Chrome a little am sure he is gonna get me for it don't know how or when but I better watch out for my polar bear toenails :)

Anyway lunch time talking point on Friday with my ladies was about ex partners and the things you possibly shared like emails, text messages, videos you produced in the heat of the moment and photos you should or shouldn't have taken. One of the ladies I had the conversation with made me chuckle, as currently somewhere in a London pub (she made it to the hall of fame) there is an anonymous picture of her boobs hanging on the wall, thank goodness her mug shot remains unidentifiable till today :)

OK so onto our discussion, the scenario is of a woman who's nude photos were shared by an ex all over the Internet. The woman decides to get a super injunction to stop other Internet users sharing and multiplying her photos cross Atlantic with the possibility of prosecution.
However the clause is that this super injunction gives the woman anonymity a bit naff really, because how are people supposed to know which pictures they have a right to download and which one could leave them liable to court charges??.
Shouldn't the EX be the in the prosecution chair instead? even better still why don't they pull pictures??? rather than trying to prosecute thousands of web users who may have perhaps inadvertently looked at the photos via pop ups, emails, spam or directly downloaded from legal or even illegal sites??.

Anyway, the conversation went a step further looking deeply at why we tend to keep memorabilia of our ex's. I mean if you get to the end of an old relationship isn't it normal to get rid of all traces of their attachment to you??....I suppose depends on what circumstances you broke things off right??. How about you get into a new relationship shouldn't you box all items of your ex and index under X-FILES CLOSED???. Should you really be keeping your ex boyfriend or girlfriends picture around?? wouldn't that upset the new person in your life or should they be more understanding???.

Or perhaps we keep items from past relationships because we still hold a torch for the person, or maybe it's because we still haven't found the CLOSURE we seek for ourselves!!!!!

Don't ask I had a night in with pink and decided to add this tune!!

Lockdown

2012-01-13T22:33:00.001Z

I like the creativity of this video makeup, costumes the whole ethnic tribal twist!!

Men can be just as bad...

2012-01-13T22:11:00.003Z

I aint saying she a gold digger, but she aint messing with no broke broke........she gotta a right to choose :). 4 kids and seriously 18years you find kid aint yours thats cold....

Really though in this day and age what's the chances of meeting a man or woman without at least one child??.....

The fire!!!!

2012-01-13T21:43:00.005Z

I am still listening to this tune in 2012 sung by 3 different people and still sounds great everyone with their twist on things. Music is definitely like a time capsule each century has a different flavour......sometimes in life you do gotta go through and jump not just hoops but when times are difficult am sure it feels like you're on fire but somehow you will make it through!!

The original tune through the fire by Diva Chaka Khan great rendition

Peabo Bryson equally perfect voice

Kanye you made it

Rules of Parenting

2012-01-13T21:31:00.002Z

Children hmmmmm don't underestimate their ability to soak up information. Always let your child know you love them and remember not to make promises you can't keep. Most important of all don't give them any information about the human body even if they ask you. Will come back and bite you on the butt. Chilledleo lesson learnt.

The Real Africa

2012-01-13T15:52:00.000Z

simply beautfiul

Friday The 13th

2012-01-13T15:31:00.000Z

Right let's put this one to bed. Is Friday the 13^th an unlucky day? After extensive research the official historical perspective is:

nothing, or at least no profound historical or mythical reference

Wiki's your friend. a bit disappointing really isn't it. Seems to be a modern American invention, much like Halloween, Santa and Alien invasions. These Americans ey? Still I try avoid significant stuff on days like this, same way I avoid shenanigans on a full moon night. very superstitious and atheist, got to cover all bases.

Talking of wikipedia, doing my homework would have been a breeze if the Internets was around those days. Plagrism? easy, download a German assignment and use Google translate to get the English! wonder if the kids are under that ...

The thought of slinging a naked woman over my shoulder is ... I wonder what he sees in the distant horizon? great picture

I was wrong!!

2012-01-13T13:52:00.005Z

Friday the 13th right??? must be an unlucky day for LIARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

And for their information am not as computer illterate as they bloody think!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Ohohoh I think am gonna be in BIGGGGGG trouble after today :))))))))

Shut up and Dance - Ravin im Ravin feat Peter Bouncer

2012-01-13T13:41:00.000Z

Am bouncing off the walls choooon....

junglist massive yahyahyahyah!!

2012-01-13T13:27:00.001Z

Oh my daysssss am hyped up at lunch today takes me back to some great parties :)

Rude Boy--Original Nuttah

2012-01-13T13:24:00.000Z

Damn tune takes me back to house parties tuneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Heart Break High - Sleeping With A Broken Heart

2012-01-12T16:48:00.006Z

I had a conversation with a friend the other day and they happen to make a passing comment of is it possible that there is a human being out there who hasn't had their heart broken before??

Oh I know for a fact that heart break high is the worst feeling imaginable the relationship has come to an end, halt, stop. You know, the one which leaves you clinically depressed, loss of appetite, short tempered and literally makes you feel like the world is coming to an end, your bubble burst leaving you empty and just down right feeling SHIT.

Funny when you are going through such HARD times no one can say anything to make you feel better, so then you go for therapy thinking that will help only for the therapist to tell you oh it's time for your self growth and evaluation, time to close doors and find a key to a new haven; fuck what do they know......then you get advise from those in the same position as you and instead of looking to better things they are rather bitter and twisted attitudes get you even more riled up helping you develop the up most hatred for the opposite sex obviously depending on which side of the fence you are sitting (man or woman who has been dumped). Then the voice of reason comes your way....the advise here is oh don't worry the man of your dreams is still waiting for you out there. Yeah and pigs will fly because he must be buried under some rock hence why you keep missing them.

The fact is no one or nothing can cure your current illness of self pity drowned in a viral soup of misery that seems to keep replicating with each tear drop. In answer to my Friend's question I don't think any one would be human if they didn't go a little stir crazy after a heartbreak be a relationship of 7years or one as young as just 3 months. Haven't looked at the statistics but am sure at least 9 out of 10 people if put in a line up have gone through some form of heart break at some point in their life.

OK I understand a 7year relationship break up to significantly affect any man or woman. I mean 7 years you live and breathe the same air then suddenly you feel like your atmosphere of Oxygen (O2) has been zapped and mopped up by carbon dioxide (CO2).....need to watch your carbon foot print emission don't wanna add to the growing ozone layer.

I have had a few friends go through some break ups which they saw coming a mile off. Others completely unexpected BAM you're dumped period. WTF did I do you may ask at the time....oh nothing we just grew apart. YES news flash people it does happen and occurs more than we know. I had a friend who got married after being with her partner of 10years, lavish wedding trimmings galore POOF two years later slammed with a divorce..... huh huh huh........I thought they were happy???.....so did all the guests who turned up at their wedding. Why did they break up family started interfering here goes the scenario.....oh 'John' for blog purposes what's wrong with your wife?..Why haven't you guys had a child yet blah blah blah....

Sometimes it's circumstances/situations and family/friends that help drive wedges. Ironic how those very things also help put people together. However people in relationships themselves cause the breakups. But more often than not the biggest relationship killer lack of or the wrong kind of commitment.

A friend openly told me one day, I've been 'bitter and twisted' however I managed to claw my way out and have now come full circle. Then you have the bitter and twisted friend who just can't see how they are failing and self pitying all the time. A horrible position to find yourself in and if you don't take care will follow you everywhere you go and the personality traits usually of jealously, anger and manipulative just grow into a monster!!!!!.

Heartbreak high not a place anyone wants to be BUT, I believe until you've had your heart broken all the empathy in the world won't really give you a full appreciation as to how it feels. Also if you are lucky enough never to have had your heart broken that's awesome, for those who have had to claw their way through the trenches let that be an experience and a gauge to teach you what is love and what isn't in new relationships.

That's a wrap, don't be down, feel the UPS all the time because nothing or no one can break your heart more than YOU!!!!

E...X squared!!

2012-01-12T15:32:00.004Z

Been spending quite a lot of time with my ex lately for the sake of our daughter as you do Christmas was particularly interesting. I can see how happy he is but on the other hand is getting other ideas of which I am steering away from. Didn't realise how much I had moved on from him and how in control I am of my life now. In some instances well in my case, you can get on with your ex but I think it depends on the grounds you broke up and whether the two of you are adult enough to get along for the sake of world peace!!!

So moving on had a thought the other day following on from a conversation I had with a friend. So am posing a question.... Would you let your ex hypothetically speaking, whom you have a friendly amicable relationship with rent a room off you as a lodger if you knew the arrangement wasn't a permanent one. And if you did what would be the ground rules??

Hmmm I wonder how many people have test driven this hypothesis!!!!

Gwen McCrae "All This Love That I'm Giving"

2012-01-12T14:28:00.004Z

Today is exactly the 12th of January 2012, heard this tune on the radio 'Mystic Radio' as it goes am feeling that station very much in the mornings. They play a bit of Reggae, old skool tunes from R&B to Hip Hop. Nice Journey in to work cheers me up.
The lyrics to the song giving all my love made me think long and hard about certain aspects of my life and I will ensure I no longer give all my love to just any man they have to bloody well EARN IT!!!!!.

To DO list 2012

2012-01-12T13:53:00.003Z

Oh now I know how it feels to literally be in the driving seat and not let people mess you about. This year I SHALL NOT LET ANY BOZOOO mess me around whether they are nice or not I don't give a SHIT!!!. From the beginning of the year am slowly de-cluttering my head space, my wardrobe and eventually my life. So for starters;;;;;;

1. I shall NOT let myself RUN out of BATTERIES :).

2. No more Internet dating rubbish men out there all full of CRAPPPPPPP.

3. Phew finally got rid of DJ check, cancelled date, MAN style, oh well was never gonna go anywhere so good luck to him.

4. I shall not opt for fruit when there is cake available.

5. I shall be cautious of people who say they have my back, literally they do walking all over it.

6. I shall not be breaking my back to do favours for ungrateful people any longer.

7. I will only trust myself.

8. I shall not let writers block hold me hostage to updating the blog.

9. I shall not let paper work drive me crazy.

10. I shall not let the pipettes send me insane!!!!!

11. I shall not let SQUEAKY's (aka miss J) innocence corrupt or influence me further.

12. I shall treat myself once a month to Muffinskies.

13. I shall not stay late at work.

14. I shall not be addicted to CHICKEN :)

15. I shall by hook or crook take a HOLIDAY this year.

16. I shall continue and always aim to miss behave at any given opportunity.

17. I shall force my girls to start up our running group again.

18. I shall do the topic a challenge and Nanowryimo this year.

19. I shall get a little pink dress to go with my little Black one.

20. I shall do something a month that scares the SHITTTTT out of me.

Lips Cool J

2012-01-11T22:03:00.005Z

The lips on the guy yummmm...for real though can't fault any of the selections I have put up them clubbing days were gudd....

Tuneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Billy Ocean － Caribbean Queen

2012-01-11T16:44:00.000Z

Oh I have gone over to the other side now Billy Ocean whatever happened to him any way!!...

Billy Ocean-Get Out Of My Dreams

2012-01-11T16:31:00.000Z

Love this song...hey you get into my car :)

Jaheim - Find my way back

2012-01-11T16:22:00.000Z

The afternoon sugar rush had me nearly falling to sleep....tune got me alert!!

Sankofa

2012-01-11T09:36:00.004Z

"Always remember the past for therein lies the future, if forgotten ... we are destined to repeat it"

I listened to a radio show last night where the guest expanded on the concept of Sankofa to elaborate on how we as black adults can reconnect with our troubled youths of today and guide them. I was intrigued cos prior to the show I couldn't say I'd really heard or understood the concept and thought I'd share. Admittedly I'd only first heard of it from some Hip Hop song from back in the day (Talib Kweli & Hi-Tek, Africa Dreams, Reflection Eternal, Train of Thought Album, 2000)

To quote from Wikipedia:

Sankofa can mean either the word in the Akan language of Ghana that translates in English to "go back and get it" (san - to return; ko - to go; fa - to look, to seek and take) or the Asante Adinkra symbols of a a bird with its head turned backwards taking an egg off its back, or of a stylised heart shape. It is often associated with the proverb, “Se wo were fi na wosankofa a yenkyi," which translates "It is not wrong to go back for that which you have forgotten."

I subscribe to this simple and beautiful philosophy

Talib Kweli and Hi-Tek, Reflection Eternal - Africa Dream

"They come sweeter than sabal and softer than mashed potatoes
I tried to told you the rhymes run over emcees like Land Rovers
Took 'em back in time like Sankofa, Sankofa"

is this the love movement?

2012-01-10T23:39:00.000Z

The African Maradona

2012-01-10T15:54:00.001Z

Nostalgia is a beautiful thing. Watching Thierry Henry score that goal last night was like going back in time when the Arsenal striker, during his first stint, had premiership defenders running scared and faking heart attacks. There were a few legends around his time and one of the best was Jay-Jay Okocha (Bolton, 2002 - 2006), Nigeria's finest and my Enugu city home boy. The guy was Soccer God incarnate ... so good they named him twice ...

fan quote from Guardian website:

"Jay-Jay Okocha
While the temptation – based on league position and Ivan Klasnic's uninspiring shows up front – is to call for the return of a Daniel Sturridge or Johan Elmander, the footballing heart wants what it wants – and the sentimental Bolton fan's heart wants to see Jay-Jay Okocha don white once more. The sight of the Nigerian superstar stepping-over and dummying, with all the authority of his experience, before unleashing goalwards a trademark curling effort, still evokes a fond nostalgia at the Reebok. Skilful while professional; flashy, yet substantial; good-humoured, but focused, always willing to give 100% to a perpetually glamourless cause: Jay-Jay, you're always welcome back here. Jack Leahy"

P.A.W.G

2012-01-10T08:49:00.001Z

Gym was good last night but a bloody push. 2012 has really started :-)
20 mins into the run I was completely thrashed. As I've gotten older I swear I'm getting better at my fitness and stamina. but its downhill from here on in so smarter training is the order, out with trying to lift weights the size of a small car, in with multiple smaller weights that dont rip arm from socket. right 6 pack, we gonna find u this year?

Is Thierry Henry the greatest or what? Watch as he bangs in his 227th Goal for Arsenal on his triumphant return for the Leeds FA game. Inspiration to the kids!!!

It has to be butt implants init? How else do u explain phat bottoms on the playboy twins, the two white girls in celebrity big brother 2012? I knew it went on but a google search showed it to be more widespread than i thought and its growing here in the uk. Some real horror though with quacks, mostly Colombians, injecting vanity crazed American ladies with all types of shizzle. Cement extract paste? Seriously. Wont lie the twins look good with their butts. What are they called? P.A.W.Gs - phat ass white girls. Lol! These internets will kill us :-)

Steamed Body Heat

2012-01-09T23:06:00.014Z

Dear Zehu

I am writing this afterthe great evening we had, my thoughts are continuously engulfed by certain moments that captivated me so intently, I can only but smile a pretty smile when I think of you. Today at lunch your mere existence and that beautiful sexy voice took over my senses and I found myself reliving the night of our sensual erotica. I still remember how exquisite a night, candle lights, soft music and the intense heat from your massage and how we were both sensually satisfied …..I found myself tormented by the visual taste of your chocolate heaven whilst I licked the sweetness of your brown skin……..the wetness of my frustrated yet excited pussy engorged by your hard erect cock thrusting back and forth a site of pure indulgence……….

I invite you to a night filled with a sizzling taster of intense sexual and sensual pleasure all you need to do is turn up at my door and the rest will be all yours.
On arrival knock 3 times, and on the third strike u shall be greeted by a lady with an adventurous vibrant character, exceptionally well crafted and her body heat shall be oozing an orgasmic aura. She will walk you to a room immediately on the left as you enter the house, there will be a chair in the middle of the room sit and await your next instructions.

As Herra walks into the room, the foot steps from her heels alert Zehu who is intently gripped with emotions beyond his own desires…she is dressed in a sheer red negligee and no panties, lips rich as a juicy ripe fruit and her body dripping and glistening with a sensual glow. Herra was sexually in tune with her desires and this was greatly admired by most men who struggled to please her pussy, however Zehu was the only man who could give her multiple orgasms over and over again.

She walks up to Zehu who was sat on a chair, blind folded with hands tied. Herra runs her hands down his face slowly making her way down to his chest, Zehu welcome to my humble abode. Whilst she whispers into his ears, Herra begins to undress Zehu kissing him softly and gently on his lips, his neck stroke by stroke, she glides down to his nipples sucking with a biting motion as Zehu begins to quiver at the suspense of the interlude. As she enjoys licking his tort fleshy muscles, Zehu is freed from his bondage and immediately grabs Herra throws her on the red silk sheets strewn on the bed………

The night was rich with sensual body heat, and as the fire in Herra's eyes spoke with lust, the hairs on his back raised with a quivering sensation. The lighting in the room had set the ambiance and scene for a romantic interlude of erotic love making.

As they both lay on the bed naked as sin……Zehu suddenly feels a warm wet sensation on his penis, a tug which begins with gently controlled strokes that seem to get stronger and stronger, meanwhile Herra licks the cream and chocolate from his ass stretching her tongue deeper into his crevasses…it’s too much for Zehu, he moans with a whimper which only gets louder as the shaft of his penis swells from the titillating sensations delivered by Herra's lover…..his body tenses up….noooooooo stop am gonna cummm, he maintains his speed and regains composure….

Zehu begins to use his lips tickling and navigating Herra's body with a licking and sucking motion, as he lead his hands and shy fingers gently down her navel caressing her dark glistening body with lavender oil. In the intense steaming heat, Zehu was awakening the sweet juices and flavor of Herra’s pudenda (taste of honey sweet as a melon fruit) gently but forcefully tingling her body with an overwhelming thrusting motion…she purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrssssssss at the intensity of his manhood pleasuring her with passion…..as her partner fucks her in the ass with long HARD strokes….HERRA screams out to both men HARDERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR……

before she could exhale, the experience leaves her with pure sensual erotica and her body gives in to a penultimate climax leaving her with an almighty Orgasmic wail……………………

That's a Wrap me thinks :)

2012-01-09T10:11:00.003Z

Simplicity!!!

OK Jake we gonna do this or not am ready one for the road as they say. Before you start take a real close look and tell me what you see!!

Well Yanis it looks fresh, has a slight sweet aroma with a juicy middle yummmm. First Instruction for you Jake, I want you to gently slide your fingers over the opening of the piece, what kind of sensation do you get?..

Yanis I think am getting a.......hold on bucko not so fast slowly now. Jake as I whisper these words, I want you to insert one finger at a time feel the opening get inside of your piece, squeeze, press enjoy the delicate textures you're dealing with, as you place the second finger inside you will........ooohhhhhh Jakeeeeeee you need to go deeper the walls of the piece are now relaxingggggggg.

Lips, I need you lips and as you prise the piece open I want you to lick the juicy centre stroke by stroke...slowly soak up those flowing juices mmmmmm slurppppp let your palette do the talking take it all in...... Damnnnnnn Yansin where the hell did you learn to eat a piece of fruit like that??.

Hahaha gotcha and for those who got slightly turned on, I advice you stock up on the exotic Sharon Fruit eat with forbidden pleasure!!

Rushed off me Feet!!

It's been a good 20 minutes now,Troy will you fucking man up and just do it we didn't come all this way for you to flake out on me step to it already. Sonia, I can't DO it the drop is too much. OK do it for me you know you want to, there will be a large round of Whiskey with your name all over it. Oh fuck here goes arrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhh, do it Troy fucking do it, push me alreadyyyyyyyyyy. Okayyyyyyyyyyyyyy shit Sonia am sorrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy........

Troy I tell you what that free fall was.......Bloody hell that was a great FUCKING thrill, am doing that again bungee jumping with a difference head RUSHHHH...

week on week

2012-01-09T00:33:00.002Z

so tomorrow the year starts back up for lots of people. been a mixture of chilling and bad weather, kicking it with ChilledLeo, meetup friends, working from home. Well its back to travelling into work from Monday, ready to roll.

TV. Been watching HiTV, Channel 5's celebrity big brother 2012, as you do slipping out of that holiday mode. Watched a More4 documentary on the Mayan Prophecy for 2012, I had forgotten about that this new year. would love to say nah but the Mayans were dead accurate with the measurement of time, scientific precision. I don't think Apocalypse, extinction agenda event like asteroids and all that, but definitely turbulence to mark time, force people to rethink our humanity. More economic and political change? who knows. For so solid crew's 21 seconds alone I'll give romeo a bligh, big tune there

Celebrity big brother 2012 ratid! lol! full up of glamour models, romeo from so-solid crew (noo!!! 21 seconds was a bad boy tune!), some american actor dude michael madsen, oh yeah the girl from east enders don't remember her name. I swear I didn't even know the damn thing was still going but caught some laughs in with my boys. why can't they get real celebrities, people who have done something? ;-) reality tv sucks. HiTV kicks ass with Nigerian Pop Idol which didn't make sense too tough. We have boys like Flavour Nabania and contestants still trying to sound American. A few good ones but nah the Nigerian Idol contestants ain't getting preparation. Saw a movie (sinners in the house) and project laff. nollywood is coming strong still. Caught a bit of Vox Africa TV for some news. We could do with a 24 hour rolling black news channel.

some eye candy from blackerotica.tumblr.com. some recent posts have been blistering hot. black love, stay loving black

Am'a put you to Bed!!!

2012-01-08T22:59:00.002Z

Had a lovely day today very relaxing.............now for the serious stuff just need to be taken to BED!!!. HOOOOOOOOOOOT tune I want it..you want....

Fred says Wilmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Tonight's Flavour (Nabania)

2012-01-08T20:35:00.000Z

Went to a friend's yesterday and his wife played some serious Nigerian pop the whole time, especially tunes from artist Flavour Nabania, one of the biggest on the scene and my Igbo homeboy. Nabania is Igbo for This Night or Tonight, and his use of it in his name is to insist its jumping off tonight, no matter what

... and a little remix of the famous song Ashawo for the Ghana massive

the lyrics "Nwa Baby! nye m ife gi" that kick off the song translate roughly to "Baby Girl! give me your something" (don't ask ;)

happy second week

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Kaching!!

2012-01-07T22:26:00.004Z

Saw this advertisement and just had to repost on the blog....come like silence of the lambs!!.

black is the stream of my consciousness, the sun is in my eyes

2012-01-06T11:38:00.000Z

Day 6 into the new year. It always feels like this slowish wake up from slumber, that getting back into the swing of things post holidays. A bit of lounging, a bit of fix up and look sharp for the new year. A bit of everyday life, really just like the days of the year just gone. But it feels good and as I look out at the morning sun shining all up in my eyes I feel an optimism for the everyday. An optimism born out of simply being here and alive in 2012. some didn't make it. I don't seek the tranquility per se, things just are. Order out of chaos. Tempting to say the quiet before the storm but really there are days like this, when you just feel chill and ready for whatever.

re-watched Pharoahe Monch's Black Hand Side video (follow link on the song title for an interesting take on the meaning of the lyrics) and remembered why I loved the song off his last year album W.A.R - easily my best Hip Hop album of 2011. The song brims with truths and optimism. Its hard being black, what with fixed perceptions of who we are and a profound misunderstanding of our life and many cultures here in the UK. "Turn the cheek, let it slide, give me five on the black hand side". Really intelligent video how when Pharoahe puts on his glasses he sees the simplicity of Black life, our innate warmness, but when he takes them off he sees "the remains of whips and chains, in my hood where it ain't all good, peep the pain of a single mother, she's struggling" - is that "whips" and "chains" as in hip hop slang for "Cars" and "Diamond necklaces"? or like the scars from slavery and chains used to imprison enslaved Africans? Very intelligent use of word play to mean two things, is why I fcuk with his street poetry.

Interesting thing with that black hand side greeting gestures in the video, my Igbo people greet the same way back in Nigeria.

Being black while being in the UK forces a train of thought that when voiced can be incorrectly construed as aggressive, over sensitive, reactionary. The truth of the matter always hurts the supposedly sensitive aggressor. I thought about the storm in a tea cup over Diane Abbott's twitter comments on white people (great post Dawna) and knew where she was coming from about divide-and-rule colonial styling. It is true that the homogeneous "Black Community" is a bit of a stretch, but no black person pretends otherwise. But its a truth we have to navigate as we as one deal with matters and battle forces that don't see this difference or who see it and wish to exploit it for divisive reasons. Do I as a Nigerian face a discrimination different from that suffered by the lady from Montserrat? No. Can a white person tell the difference between two of us? Most can't, some can and respect it, some disrespect it for ulterior reasons. Are we not really one and the same if you trace back through our histories?

I've been here for 18 years and know that our black cultural differences are not a barrier to us as Black people, if anything we in the diaspora have co-opted and melted it down into what I can only vaguely define as a Black UK culture - I'm no Ethnic Scholar here, I only refer to what I see. In a lot of ways I celebrate it cos being here has made me culturally rich in ways I never was back in Nigeria. It is a good thing. Any criticism I have can be easily dismissed. I'd never previously eaten Ethiopian food, been to a Sierra Leone wedding, eaten Jamaican Ackee and Salt Fish, attended a Caribbean carnival. A lot of people here, white and black, take this cultural richness for granted. So you know what, big up Diane Abbott still for that comment, as ill advised a forum it was to air it on. It has stimulated a discussion we sometimes avoid to have.

I also thought about the sentences handed down to the murderers of Stephen Lawrence, musing if Justice had really been served and if it had changed anything. If anything our Black youth are killing themselves in more numbers than in 1993. How do any of these relate? Do they relate or is it going to be a Force Fit Analogy? The Stephen Lawrence case is extremely important. Apart from setting a clear legal framework and providing test cases for crimes involving race it forced an introspection like no other on this nation. Its up to us to make our communities better and have the right debates relating to our unique problems. Have our own deeper introspection

I also thought about the 8 match ban and £40,000 fine handed to Luis Suarez of Liverpool FC, wondering if it sends the clearest message that racial abuse cannot be tolerated in any form, regardless of context and culture. I also thought about the pending African Cup of Nations football tournament and if the lot of the African Footballer is better in 2012 (Nigeria failed to qualify so I'll support Ghana and Ivory Coast). I also thought about my home Nigeria and its problems with Muslim terrorist sects Boko Haram. Why do Muslims always say theirs is a religion of peace when faced with the endemic fanaticism that dogs Islam?

I think of a great many things as daily life moulds my stream of consciousness. In the physical and here in the Digital. From reading Dawna's musing on race and society, reading ChilledLeo's views on the everyday, my posts on black eroticism, to Reggie's flirtation with the nature of the Truth, to the verbal fun and colorful views on Black Profiles with @rockchick, @lilystar, @Deeva-licious, @blair, @ukoch and many others. Its simpler and perhaps straightforward truth that black is just the colour of my skin, but really being black is a state of mind. So fuck it, give me five on the black hand side

Oh Boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii mi a fey feeel di heat!!

2012-01-06T00:32:00.003Z

Hot DAMNNNNNNNNNN fine brotha plus the 4 Chocolate delights and bam fireworks beam me up scottiiii

YUMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Extra Dollop of CREAM pleaseeeeee

The Indredients

2012-01-05T14:27:00.000Z

Now this tune has cheeeeeeered me up PLENTY!!!

Mos Def - Hey Baby

2012-01-05T14:04:00.000Z

Nice mix up!!!

The Storefront Church

2012-01-05T12:26:00.000Z

I know we black people love God loads. Hell! I love God so much I take Holy Communion and sip on wine whenever I bother to take my atheist ass to Sunday Mass, rotten blasphemous mouth and all. I'm completely sold on that body of Christ concept, the cannibalism of the Lord to wash away our sins. Did I tell you my mother is a Eucharistic Minister and also gives holy communion? I never go up to her when I attend cos I know she'll refuse to give it to me. I keep my religious arguments with mother to a minimum, lord knows I already have serious problems with christian dogma. I once did have a raging argument about ordaining homosexual priests and my liberal views on homosexuality, almost gave the poor woman a heart attack.

So yeah back to the reason for posting. Driving out this morning I had to make a quick stop. No my eyes deceive me not. Seriously, five Storefront Churches, side by side, on Thurston Industrial estate in Lewisham? I had to pull over and take these pictures, it was that surreal ... some funky names boi!

Is the Lord that in demand? Wouldn't it be more practical, communal or something for the five to co-join into some uber church? should I open one? The Church of Swanky. nice ring to the name. Lemme see ... The right honourable Pastor Chrome and the divine Pastoress ChilledLeo? the magnificent Apostle Dawna? yeah, I'm feeling this rhythm. Lol! *sigh* really cynical I am about religious things.

See I've been in the UK so long I've forgotten to live by hope. But then I can't recall that many of these churches when I first got off the banana boat ... signs of the times?

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